Day 5- good for the soul

Hey everyone
Can't believe its almost the end of week 1 already. Today was a better day. My phone was going weird last night, so my alarms didn't go off this morning, and I slept in until almost 10:30am, which was good to do but I had planned on doing a class and getting fitness test and homework done before lunchtime. And well the only thing on that list that I got done was the fitness test.

Now I was in a much better frame of mind to do the fitness test this time around. I had slept fairly well, it was morning (meaning i wasn't completely tired), the sun was shining, clothes were ready, I wore my old worn in shoes rather than the new stiff x-trainers, I've taken my supplements for a couple of days and generally my mood was much nicer. I was also bolstered by a few messages I received last night wishing me well etc, so thank u for the gorgeous peeps who sent then through, much appreciated.

So given the above I was happy and relieved to see my results came back in closer to what I was expecting.

1km- 05:17
pushups-41
wall sit-03:10
flexibility- +12
abs-0

That is my fastest time trial (completed on my course, I still have doubts over the length of the Sydney one), pushups were slightly down from end of last round but that doesnt' bother me, wall sit is another 20sec increase so very happy, flexibility is the same. Abs I have stopped lying to myself and scored myself stage 0 because I can really only just get my fingertips to my knees when trying and not much further. That is my biggest target to work on.

Once I'd done the fitness test including #wallsitofdeath as we have nicknamed it I settled in to do my core work as per Mish's plan. I'm working core at beginner level and everything else at advanced. At the moment I'm sticking with the gym classes majority of the time with some running training thrown in to get the distance back up for the 10k Race for Life next month and to improve the mental side of it. I aim to throw in at least one outdoor circut per week though to make sure I'm staying around the mark with Mish's toning/circuit plans.

Then it was finally time for the fun part of the afternoon-SHOPPING!! Now I must say it was a laugh. Trying to find something figure hugging in non peachy shades was interesting. We ended up at HarbourTown (discounted brand stores) and had a blast looking at fashions and laughing at lace, ribbons, rouching, frills and alsorts of weird and wacky things. However once we reached Espirt I kinda fell in love. I ended up with a new skirt and 3 new tops. Now that skirt has a story, when I was shopping for goal clothes that skirt was there, being a discount store I liked it at the time but only saw it on my way out and couldn't be bothered trying it on then. Therefore I left assuming I'd never see it again, well today it was still there so this time with some peer pressure I decided to try it on (I'm not a skirt girl btw). Well I'll be darned the 8 fitted. Looking through we were discussing how the 8 already fitted yet I've still got room to go on the waist and how I didn't want to spend that much money on something that potentially wouldn't fit well soon. So I carried it for a while and eventually went back to the rack and looking through found a 6.... which wasn't a lot smaller than the 8. With some encouragement I went and tried it on, and nearly fainted. It fit, like the zip went all the way up!!! and it didnt' even look terrible!

So after that I had to get the skirt, got to register and the total was a lot less than I was expecting because there was another 30-40% off most items in store. I was so tempted to run back in and get all the other stuff I'd been drooling over! Next stop was Colorado to look, well they also had another 40% of ticketed price and a heap of gorgeous casual shorts. I should explain the purpose of this trip was to get some summer stuff because my wardrobe literally only contained workout gear, track pants, uni uniform and socks and undies. Nothing summery or remotely casual/dressed up. So I got a pair of shorts there and by that stage we had run out of time for anything else. Picked up a few groceries at woolies and headed home.

Got home so excited to show off to housemate (well parade) and quickly discovered no one else at home =( found out she was still at uni so off i went to pick her up. Came back and paraded around in my new gear (she very impressed) and I've now talked her into coming shopping with me again tomorrow =P.  I also really realised tonight that I am smaller than I think I am. I know that sounds weird but I can now safely say I am a size 6-10 (depending on brand) on my bottom 1/2, which is very weird and freaked me out for a while, but it just means I need to work on seeing the changes all over, not just focusing on the needs improvement bits.

I realised on my way home today, that I'd spent a whole day challenging myself (in terms of trying things, having fun out in public etc) and not once thought of whats happened. That was a lightbulb for me, I actually got all emotional over it in the car on the way home because of a few things. Shopping like that was something I used to do back in my gap year, I was free to go to any shop, try on something find a suitable size and leave happy with my purchase, I didn't care (beyond reason) what I looked like or how I was portraying myself. I could enjoy the spring/summer afternoons sitting around reading a book to relax or go for a walk. I was getting up at 5:30 every morning and seeing the sunrise and enjoying seeing it, taking peace and calmness from having my time again. It hit me driving home today that I'm starting to do those things again, I'm starting to really move on, and yes there are bad days and horrible memories and flashbacks and thoughts, but there are also good days, when everything is brighter and happier and I can relax be with friends and be myself. It feels good to know that I can start to do that again now. its been a long long draining journey but days like today make it feel worth it again, make me worth it and I am so glad I did get some cool stuff today because I have to say I've worked darn hard to reach this stage and I deserve some good stuff once in a while.

Tomorrows plan is up early for a run before work experience I'm aiming for 3-5k depending on how legs/mind feel I have to push through and run the whole thing though, its getting ridiculous how my mind is going with running at the moment. Then its work experience where I'm going to have my oats,yoghurt and fruit to eat 1/2 before and 1/2 on way there (fills me up longer) also taking carrot sticks and dip and a punnet of strawberries along with my water and the tin of tuna that permanently resides in my glove box (if I break down I wont starve for long =P) so I should be all set. I refuse to give into temptation, tomorrow I'm going to have a clean day food and exercise. Then heading out shopping to HarbourTown again this time housemate wants to come with me, so we gonna have a girly day and maybe kick it off with a movie tomorrow night.

So until then (and hopefully with more bargains)

I'll chat to you soon
xx
Mel