My Moment, My Thoughts, My Journey, My Life

Round 3 12WBT

Honesty, accountability, openness and clarity.

Monday, September 27, 2010

Week 1 Reflections + Day 8 overview

Wow week 1 over already what a week.


  • trying combat
  • food on Saturday morning
  • exercising 6 days straight
  • finishing all the preseason tasks on time
  • new clothes shopping
  • finding goal outfit
  • feeling between good to awesome majority of week
  • recognising the reasons behind the tears/set backs
  • understanding where i've gone wrong with food and the things that have triggered them
  • putting myself out there and generally feeling ok with it (work in progress)
  • trying Mish's DVD's for the first time and generally surviving.
  • not missing a toning session or an abs session for the week (and completing the entire core session on the Friday)


  • food is still an issue (didn't expect it to clear up overnight)
  • holidays are a danger zone with no set routine or deadlines or appoitments (thankfully almost over)
  • not enough structured planning due to being on holidays
  • too much emotion over everything- not really a negative but its the way I used the emotion that can improve.

In general I'm happy with my exercise this week, its the first time in a long time where I've trained for 6 days straight (yes including rounds 1 and 2 there are issues which I am now changing). I've also been quite emotional this week for a few reasons, mainly for family related conversations but also because I've been having a time when I suddenly realise I am changing, and I get scared by that. But now as I'm working closer and closer to goal I'm realising theres less and less things to be truly scared off. I know the fear will always be there but I'm moving past being paralysed by it and rather accepting it for what it is and how I can move past it. I think thats where putting my story out there comes into it. I knew putting it out there would freak me out and I also knew it was the next step for me. Having people read it (well assuming someone did =P) and then relate to me normally is a huge worry/concern. The whole social taboo around the topic doesnt' help anything and anyone, it just fosters more silence and hurt and pain and potential tragedies. I would have been a statistic in the not very far future had someone not asked me a simple question of how are you? If I hadn't replied not great and then continued with the story I am completely certain I wouldn't be alive right now to experience all of this. Yes I would have killed myself. I came incredibly close as it was, to this day I still dont know how I walked out of some of the situations I put myself in, all I can say is right now I'm proud of the girl who did that, who chose to take that leap (metaphorically) and trust someone enough to let them in to help. I have to honour her now, she's not here anymore she sacrificed everything to get to this point, life, love, freedom, fears, anxiety, she was the one who made the choice to get this far today. I have to remember that and move forward for her and for everyone out there who are stuck right now in that place. Its not nice, but with help, hope and awesome people it can be done.

Goals for wk 2

  • eat according to plan
  • 2L water daily
  • 6 days exercise (min 400 cals)
  • watch 3 sunrises
  • try step or attack class

Sorry for the random tangent this post has taken, I get in a weird mood when I reflect on things and yeah I understand if no one understands what I meant by that =P

Hope your all well and kicking some goals, I'm pleased to say I pushed through my earlier issues today and did Super Shredder DVD and an extra run tonight for about 700cals total, food wasn't all great but I know what went wrong and why and I worked it off. Tomorrow I'm planning a big day to kick the weigh in down a few notches I hope (still waiting for the day I see a 5 in front of the number) but that will only come when I put the work in and work for it, which I feel like I've only done 1/2 heartedly this week wtih my food choices, so extra tight for me from now and moving forwards.

Thanks for your continued support means a huge amount to me
Mel =)


  1. Hey there my awesome CSC!
    I love reading your blogs- your honesty is amazing. You will reach your goal weight soon! You are sooooo close!! Ohh whats your dream outfit btw???
    Love you lots! :)

  2. thanks CCRB ur awesomest as well! =P

    Dream outfit is pair of Espirt shorts and green blouse I must post a before photo, I have taken them just not uploaded yet. How did I not send you these photos? anyway I'll post pics tomorrow for you all