So its the end of round 3! I feel like I should be excited, but I'm not. frankly theres too much going on in non 12wbt life that is way too full on for me to be excited.
Dont get me wrong I am very happy to be going to sydney for the party and workout and emazon. But Im not excited in the way I'm celebrating my last 12 weeks of work. Why you ask? because this time isnt about the past 12 weeks, weight loss wise, the best I have gained from them is that I have managed to maintain my weight over this period. Through injury, uni, exams, assessment, injury (again), new job, family being ill, me being ill, trauma healing, friends dying. I have maintained.
So this party isnt about what I've achieved this round, its about mroe than that, its about me being almost 30kgs lighter than I was this time last year, having fun with new found friends, enjoying myself and not letting things stop me or get to me.
in saying that its not quite that clear cut.
I'm putting it out there, I'm anxious, super crazy anxious about this weekend. Why? because everything is out there now, there is no turning back. This is the moment when it could all go wrong. In the sense that because its out there people may judge me, may insult me, say im not worth it and act strangely around me because of whats happened. But I had to do it, for me, which means i have to take the consequences (and not for 1 second do I believe any of that is true- its just my brain's reaction). I dont feel prepared for anything that will be coming, so i'm gonna go with it and warn that emotionally anything could happen.
thanks everyone for your support, I know i went a bit quiet for a while but it meant the world to me and still does. Hopefully I can catch you all at the finale